Come out之后的同志，如果我个人的感受正确的话，希望自己的come out是“值得的”，因此特别要把作为同志的种种新自由充充分分地享受。这就好比吃Buffet，知道自己要已经付了“定金”，所以一定要拣好的吃，而且要猛吃才划算。结果是Buffet对人的行为有很强的改变作用，后果反而会伤及胃。同样，如果不注意的话，come out对我们的行为也有纠枉过正的改变作用。MIT BBS上就有这样的观点认为，“既然做同志了，就要充分地享受某某自由，要不然就不值了。” 这样想的结果就不成比例地把注意力放在Homosexuality上, 造成了oversexualized self。
Dr. Durber在Journal of Homeosexuality上发的一篇题为"Desiring Mates"的文章中阐述了the injury of coming out的道理。尽管他着眼于gay movement, 但我发现对个人亦有启发。
To label oneself as “gay” is an injurious act, therefore, because it reveals the successful normalization of a process of self-discipline.
The gay movement’s obsession with attaining legitimacy for the homosexual subject upholds compulsory homosexualization of all men who have sexualized contact with men, while ignoring the historical and cultural containment of bodies and pleasures evident within this naming. So intense is the demand to speak of the sexualized self as a homosexual that any
refusal to comply can be met with the claim that the silent subject is “not experiencing real human existence” (Mark, 1994, p. 257). The “failed gays ” (Davies, 1992, p. 77), the “psychological cripples” (Reynolds, 2002, p. 94), can live only false and unhappy lives (Seidman, Meeks & Traschen, 1999). Those who do not come out as a homosexual, those who do not articulate self according to the demands of the discourse of gay liberation, are denied humanity.
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